Things you'd love to say at work but can't

* I see your point, but I still think your full of shit.
* I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce
* How about never? Is never good for you?
* I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
* I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way
* I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter (deja vu ay Millty?)
* I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message ...
* I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
* It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying
* Ahhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again ...
* I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
* You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
* I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
* I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
* I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
* Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
* The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
* Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
* What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
* I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
* It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
* And your crybaby whiny-ass opinion would be...?
* Do I look like a people person?
* This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
* I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
* Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
* You've always wanted to be someone? You should have been more specific.
* If I throw a stick, will you leave?
* Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
* Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
* I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
* A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
* Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
* Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
* Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
* Chaos, panic, & disorder ... My work here is done.
* How do I set a laser printer to stun?
* I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.